Life is just a series of changes we adapt to. It doesn’t end when we become adults. Matter of fact, I think the changes are bigger, and while the adult brain has been conditioned to better handle these curves through life, I believe they have a deeper impact. Usually, you are experiencing the full force, by yourself. Which makes for a deeper groove on the heart and mind.
As a child, I remember the automation of waking up, school, play, shower, dinner, and bedtime. As a teen, the adjustments are made to add new things to the routine, homework, dating, socializing. While I spend a lot of time remembering the easiest of days as a child, it makes me even more thankful I had an adult there to supervise and instruct me through the twists and turns. I believe children, as they grow older, become more independent. This is good for self-esteem and prepping for adulthood. However, I see the struggle becomes too great when they reach an age where they presume, because of how easy it is, they can do it all by themselves. Sometimes even accelerating themselves into adulthood. With the false foundation of doing it themselves, they venture out, full speed, to make mistakes of their own.
This is why I have always valued family. Shy of burning your bridges with them, family, yes even siblings, can be a wonderful cushion to have in place when you fall. Life is not about if you fall, but when. I believe every child knows this, every teen shows this, and it continues on until we make our final fall. In our younger years, we fall, and we know our parent(s) is/are right there to help us through the traumatic event. We develop our sense of security and self-awareness at these early stages. As a teenager, we have a good foundation to push limits. We know if we are going to fall, we have people around us that will help as needed. As an adult, we carry that burden ourselves. We adjust to minimize the fall, take precautions to not fall. It is on us, when we fall, to make right. To overcome our injuries, and push forward.
When you have children of your own, you now have little people relying on you to fill in those gaps as they fall. You have these young people, on the cusp of adulthood, you want to make sure each fall is leaving minimal scars. All the while, you are watching your every step, because if you stumble, it is no longer just you who must deal with the consequences, but a spouse, any children, friends, and family are all affected.
And my final point on this is that parenting is a thankless endeavor. You do everything for your kids, you make sure they have everything they need. And, you get hit with hatred, anger, and discontent. Sadly, most of the time, your kids will have no clue what you endured for them until they have kids of their own. But you must adjust continually to keep up. Often times at a cost to you. Whether it is your health, finances, time, or energy, you must try and balance multiple lives.
Seeing through these eyes is why I have been able to forgive my parents who put me up for adoption. My adopted parents who either abandoned me or made some very questionable choices thinking only of themselves. Yet, through all that, I was able to make it. I was able to grow up, have kids of my own, and even got to see my grandchild. Sure half my life has been me doing all the heavy lifting, but the other half, that was family seeing me through.
Life is full of changes. Learn to adapt or you will miss out on some of the greatest times. Learn to turn away from selfish things, in order to make someone else’s life grow. Above all, remember, bad things happen to good people. Be good enough, to make the best of it, and be strong enough to help others, even where your lifeisn’t going as planned.